I’ve never understood why it was called The Lone Ranger. He had a constant companion. He was not alone, ever. His best pal was an Indian named Tonto, played by a Mexican. Even though the show was in black and white, color images showed him in a baby blue, skin tight, monochrome onesy uniform with a dark blue scarf around his neck. Tonto was in cashmere?
I was flipping through channels and started watching an old episode of The Lone Ranger, but I only caught the beginning and the end of the show which is why it seemed so funny.
It begins with a man standing at a sink, washing dishes. He’s wearing an extremely feminine apron as his wife enters the kitchen, cinching down on her cowboy hat. She begins berating and emasculating him as he starts to fumble with drying a plate. She say’s, “You can’t do anything right. I don’t know why I married such a mouse and not a man! This ranch won’t run itself! I have to do all the hard work around here! You’re no good at anything!” He responds, “I don’t know why I’m such a mouse. You’re right as usual dear.” He drops the plate he’s drying and it crashes onto the floor. She redundantly say’s as she leaves, “Pick that up this instance! I wish I’d married a man instead of a mouse!” He waits until she’s gone and quietly says to himself, “I wish you’d married a man too”.
Then I changed channels and watched something else. I went back just as the show was on it’s final lines.
He is sitting at the kitchen table while she serves him dinner. She says,” I’m sure glad The Lone Ranger stopped by and fixed all of our marriage problems! I hope he stays warm enough on the dusty trail tonight.” He responds, talking down to her, “Just like a woman, you wouldn’t know anything about the outdoors! She smiles as she places the rolls in front of him.
And the scene changed to The Lone Ranger and Tonto riding off into the sunset as you hear, fading into the distance, “Hi ho Silver…and away!”