History of the Trumpian States of Merika

One hundred years from now, the children in ‘Pay to Learn’ schools in the very caucasian Trumpian States of Merika, ask their liberal nanny servants, ‘How did our savior Don Jon T build our nation again?’

The non-brown liberal nanny servants will tell the story once more for the eighth time because the children are so incredibly stupid.

“It all started when a spoiled brat, pampered, privileged, racist with inherited wealth, and a reality TV show that featured him firing employees, refused to accept a Black man as the President of, what was then called, the United States of America.

He pursued a conspiracy theory that the highly intelligent, but liberal, darker skinned man was illegitimate to hold the office based on a fabricated suspicion that he was not born in the United States as required.

He continued his attack long after the lie was proven to be untrue. He would use this powerful method of leadership for years to come, never acknowledging facts, or science, or even common sense.

Strangely, it was a highly effective form of backwards thinking that somehow got him elected President and destroyed the existing nation. History shows it was a belief system created by Fake News, hosted by a cable TV network and AM radio stations, but was of course, blamed on actual real journalism. Even the affluent fibber did not believe he won the election because even he didn’t actually think Americans were that incredibly naive, ignorant, and easily led by fear and negativity.

The premise of the ‘Birther’ theory and our great and powerful idiotic civilian became the brunt of a joke to everyone at an annual presidential dinner which is historically light hearted and comedic. It was funny to every person, except Donny. He was very upset to be laughed at during an event that pokes fun at absolutely everyone, and showed his disapproval by pouting with his arms folded. Shortly after the White House Correspondents Dinner, the His Orangeness spitefully threatened to run for President”.

“You mean pouting and folding our arms like we salute the Trumpian flag?” asked the ignorant pale children.

“Yes, just like we do every seven hours or we’ll be vaporized by the Evil Spirit of the Radical Dem”, said the liberal servants in unison.

“Then whut happen?” asked the children stupidly.

“Well, that started a fireball of conspiracy theories that would eventually doom our nation to this living hell”.

“Did Don make up the stories?”

“No, the records show that Don never had an original idea throughout his entire life. He liked to take ideas from an invisible patriot called Q, and a vampire named Rudy”.

“Is that why we celebrate Pizzagate every other Thursday?” Inquired the idiot kids.

“Yes, yes it is.”answered the servants.

“Tell us what happened to the brown people again. Were they vaporized by the Evil Spirit of the Radical Dem?” Asked the brainwashed youth.

“No, and actually that story, along with all the others we believe in now, are complete bullshit” replied the frustrated servants. “And believing in complete bullshit is the building block of our nation.

We all carry our guns because no one gets shot anymore because we all shoot each other. And wealthy people let their money trickle down to all the poor people making them rich poor people and they’re happier. Also wealthy people get really high quality healthcare because they’re just better than the rest of us, and of course, God likes them more.

But to answer your question, all the brown people were shipped away to the great Shit-Hole countries.”

The dumb kids ask, “Are they raping and doing drugs and murdering?”

“Yep, it’s what they do. And sometimes they let their offspring sleep in cages if they’re good, because they’re more like little animals anyway”.

“Are we white nashnulits?” queried the dimwits.

“Sure we are. And if we weren’t, we’d be socialist communists. We’re also required to say that by the new Trumpian Law and Order or suffer the penalty of Lock Her Up!”

“Did the Evil Hillary die in prison because she didn’t answer the phone and she had e-mails?”

“No, actually, after thirteen hearings, they found that she did nothing illegal. She did however give us the gift of calling the Donalds supporters, “a basket of deplorables”.

“Is that why all of the smart brains buildings are named Deplorable Baskets now?”

“Yeah, but they were actually called ‘schools’ before the Great Storming of the Capitol”.

“How did our savior, Don Jon T build our nation again? We forget already”.

“Okay. He inspired a bunch of proud morons to attempt to overthrow the government by violence and no clear plan. Oddly, the newly elected Democratic President, Biden, relinquished all of the power of his office to Don Jon so he wouldn’t be sad and pout anymore.

Every politician and citizen gladly let him be the President forever because he said that he heard from many people and people were saying that it wasn’t fair. It was weird that the entire United States Constitution, that stood for democracy for two hundred and forty-four years, was folded up and put in a cabinet in a bathroom next to a gold plated toilet. But hey, life is weird”.

The dumb children suddenly stood up and high fived each other, pointed closely at the nanny servants faces and said, “MAGA bitches!” and ran outside to play in the petroleum sludge.